It's Alive!

Greetings peeps, it's been far too long since my last update, being caught up with doing my reviews for Chippermonkey and being distracted by IRL things like work and life. But recently I've decided to take a couple of new directions with things and one of those is to do my absolute best to post here once a week and repeat my gaming reviews here as well.

Recently I've come to an impasse with my career choice. I really love what I do currently however I cannot see myself doing it forever and not hating technology as a consequence. I think I want to start working towards writing as a career either as a novelist or a games reviewer. I'm unsure if I have mentioned before but I have been writing a novel on the side for about 3 months now and am enjoying it more and more every time I think about it. So I'm going to probably do some creative writing skills courses next year @ TAFE part time.

Anywho, main reason for posting here is to give you guys my thoughts on the recently released Duke Nukem Forever.

After waiting 12 years for this gem it's needless to say that the nostalgia goggles were on tight and expectations were overriding the sensible part of my brain. A lot of people say this game should never have existed, I say otherwise. This game needs to exist as an example of LAZY FUCKING DEVELOPMENT so that future devs can learn from gearbox software's mistakes. Some people complain that Duke Nukem as a character and franchise didn't evolve with its audience and we are no longer 12 years old wanting to see pixelated boobs and silly one liners, this is true but it is far from DNF's greatest sin. When 3D Realms tanked and Gearbox picked up the IP rights, one would think they would take everything that 3D Realms had done with DNF on board, see what ideas they liked and incorporated them into their own vision of DNF. Instead you are stuck with what 3D Realms struggled to make right over 12 years with about 8 months of lazy development tagged on to simply finish the product. This game is a disgrace, there is no denying. It clearly shines through the parts that 3D Realms made and the parts that Gearbox did. Even to the point where you can see how 3D Realms over the years tried to incorporate everything into the game to make it bigger and better, aren't we over the days of throwing in silly driving sections or dream sequences that have NO plot relevance whatsoever? Apparently not. The humour is still what it was, though it hasn't aged well. Duke Sounds worse now than he ever did, and considering the amount of times I heard him bellow "Porkchop Sandwiches" in his aged and decrepit voice I began to believe they actually starved the poor voice actor for the 12 years it took to make this game.

Usually I will try and say if you like such and such this game might be for you but no. If you go out and buy this game I expect you to prepare yourself for some brutal colonic rape and I actually encourage anyone who MUST play this to pirate the game, bringing the public a franchise they want is no excuse to take credit for over a decade of other peoples work and pretend you contributed anything more than a spit and shine to if released 8 years ago would have been a noteworthy successor, but gaming has evolved in the past decade and developers need to learn that.

Til next time.

"May I suggest you try Dragon Age 2 next!" - Minnzy, in reference to the steaming pile that was Force Unleashed 2

Zenhurak - Anhidonic, Narcissistic and Pantsless.