Alrighty, so I've been less than stalwart about updating, but in regards to video games it's been a bit of a slow couple of months, and busy with workness etc.
Anywho, quick run down sports fans - As of late, the bit of gaming I have been doing has been on a good hit of multiplayer mostly on League of Legends, Bad Company 2 and StarCraft 2. Oddly enough I've been really getting into playing competitively, which I haven't felt the itch for in many a year. But onto what I'm gonna blargen on about now. Years ago for a school project I did a machinima movie about the different types of video gamers, now as time passes on I realize there are many options I left out, and having been thinking of these lately I'm gonna give you the run down on those on the top of my mindhole.
The "Rainbow Sixdrome" Sufferer
Probably best otherwise known as "The Sprinter" but this special name comes from a friend and I experienced when we first discovered our own disposition towards this sickness of the mind and sprint button. Seeing as only in recent years has a run or sprint button been included in games its a relatively new type of gamer, but sufferers of this disturbing syndrome. Whether it be out of impatience or a panty-soaking lust for speed, this gamer often starts with the intent of dashing from cover to cover, only to fly around a corner into a hail of bullets, pain, and anal rape.
The Walking Giblet
This is the person, who no matter what the situation is, no matter the lack of room, even if its a knife fight - This man will bring a rocket launcher, the biggest fucking one he can find. This guy LOVES his pretty exploshuns like a whore breathing for the back of her throat to be bruised by a 12 inch black knobbler. While he has his uses against tanks or anyone standing far away from you, this man will often resort to blowing his explosive load into the ground given the threat of something closer than 5 feet of distance, almost always reducing 2 or more players ("Friendly fire? So 3 of us died, at least I got 1of them!") into little more than offal for the slop bucket.
The Failed Cartographer
By far the most fun person to ever play any sort of RTS with, this nutter sees a mini map merely as an obstruction to his HUD, because how can he hope to win if he can't see all the pretty things he's playing with? This man will intently attack heavily defended positions or even wander aimlessly around maps while his base/friends/worker line/spouse get sodomized in the most brutal, prison-like of ways, simply because the little glowy map thing isn't full of pretty 3d models and particle effects.
The Spawn Point
I probably shouldn't bag on these people, since back in my day I was the highest of offenders, but the public need to be aware of these "Lead From The Rear" types. Since nowdays in most FPS's to avoid the old issue of spawning in the middle of an enemy army because of silly randomized map spawn points, you now usually spawn on a teammate. This man will slowly creep as close to the enemy position as humanly possibly, without risk of bullet nor harsh comment of his parentage and continue to sit there, directing the assault from behind as wave after wave of his comrades spawn on his location and charge valiantly into the money shot of several heavy machine guns, directing his teammates the entire time with advice borne of personal experience and the wisdom of the crouch/prone button. Remember lads, this man is better than you, so best your score suffer than his!
The "All For One And One and Only" Guy
This man is an RTS player, he adores his armies of units, all consisting of the one single type of unit, be it tier 1 or end game unit, this boys army is nothing but thousands of this one guy over and over. Usually makes his choice before the game because either the biggest one is the coolest and techs straight to it, ignoring all else, or god forbid deciding early tier units are cheap so I can get even MORE of them. This guy will build that one unit from dawn till dusk, even when the opposing army builds to counter them, his solution: BUILD MORE! Can sometimes work well in a team environment given a teammate that can work to counter his units weaknesses, since this guy builds these and only these, he's got his timing and build order to the microsecond for this shit.
Well I could go on but frankly I now need to bear-blast some people with my e-seed. So without much further bullshit, Auf wiedersehen fellow master race!
"Since when does team fight mean I fight their team alone? ...Cunts." - Zenhurak
Anhidonic, Narcissistic and Pantsless.
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